I'm posting this because I love every one of you, and know exactly what it's like to hate yourself unconditionally.
I look in the mirror and despise the beast that looks back at me. I hate the fat that folds when I sit down, or the jiggle I feel with every move. I pick at my pimples, scarring my skin because I hate that they exist. I can smile at myself and very easily pronounce my loathing for myself.
Don't ever think for an instant that you're going through your pain by yourself. You may have been used by all those around you, beaten by your family, bullied relentlessly as a kid, and although I may not be able to say I've been through those experiences, you can always know that I love you and relate with your pain.
Every person has their own story, their own scars, the wounds that cut deeper than skin or our bodies alone, into the souls that drive our being. Our very existence can be scarred and damaged through pain. But life is the light at the end of the tunnel.
The pain you feel is not life, but a mere impersonator, a monster that feeds on your pain and failures. Now is not the time to admit defeat, but the time to relish real life, to turn around, stare your scars in the face and say "I am more than this. I am a beautiful human being with a long life ahead of me. I don't need you."
And you don't, nobody needs those hurts, you feel you cannot be without some form of pain attached, but you can. You don't need pain in your life. It's time to face hate and pain direct and love yourself. Love yourself through all the hate, pain and crap that people give you, and live. Really live.
I love every one of you and am here for you and with you through your pain.
Much love and no pain, your blogger Kate.