So yesterday I had a catch up with my old friends from high school and had my dream of moving back reignited, leaving me somewhat confused because of my disapproval of my father drinking again.
If I move down, I want to move into a share house with one of my friends (who is planning on moving out) and living for myself, going towards acting dreams and working on my YouTube channel to be a beauty guru. I want to be close to my brother, hanging out with friends and enjoying Sydney.
But at this stage the way it looks to play out realistically is that I'd move into my dad's place, probably loose motivation because of his attitude, and end up just bumming around and wasting my life away.
And then there is the factor of the guy I'm seeing in Brisbane, I know there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I am happy and comfortable where I am with him and the group of friends I have in Brisbane.
I have no desire to take steps backwards, I am not going to let myself fall down and I only move forward. I'm not going to be another statistic of my upbringing, I am meant to be successful, and honestly, I will do whatever it takes to get there.
I really don't want to be stuck in my little ol' Marrickville for the rest of my life. I want to be out and about, learning things, helping people, doing what I love. Not just working a dead end job in a closed off place hoping for a better tomorrow.
So, for now, I'm just doing what I can.