Measurements and Weigh In

  So today was the measurements and weigh in for my 12 week challenge at the gym. I was excited leading up to it, and at the very last minute got a little nervous, how would I stack up compared to the others? Who would be doing my measurements and photos?

  The actual setting was all pretty casual, despite being male dominated. I had my skinfold test done to measure fat, got an accurate weight and all my measurements taken as well. I didn't feel ashamed of any of the figures because I have no idea what any of them mean. I couldn't tell you off the top of my head what a healthy skinfold test result or girth measurement would be.

  So I continued to share my goals with the personal trainer that took my girth measurements and then moved along to my regular training regime. I finished my workout and shared the measurements with Gerard, as I share everything with him. After a quick inspection he points out the waist to hip ratio looking off, making me look close to obesity. We both giggle at this because the main reason for my waist/hip ratio being this way is because my ribcage is a funny shape, leaving me narrow but deep on my waist and then just plain small in the hips. 
Gerard also commented that if I loose any weight or size from my buttocks, I would quickly fall in the obese category, which makes no sense.

  Another quick examination determines that I am near underweight according to BMI - which has always been my ranking there. 

  For whatever reason by the time I had gotten home the hilarity of mixed messages from my measurements and everything had left me disheartened. Why have I still got all this fat to loose? Why are my measurements so peculiar? Am I not as fit as I think I am? Maybe I am actually one of the people they'd recommend doing the challenge, when I thought I was doing fine on my own. Do I not have as much of a clue as I thought I did? Maybe I actually am doing everything wrong and not doing my body any good at all. Does mixing cardio and weight training really cancel each other out and leave you with nothing?

  And worst of all: Maybe I'm eating too much or the wrong stuff. Is all my veganism ideology wrong? Do I actually need meat? 

  This of course only lead to anxiety and fear of changing my diet. I'm so happy with what I eat at the moment, and it's an odd thing to think that I might be somehow gaining fat or getting less fit from eating in a way that I can only see as being healthy. How could eating so many fruits and wholegrains be bad for a person? How could food that doesn't stay in my body for longer than 12hrs be turning into fat? 

  The thought of diet always makes me anxious, especially when it comes to eating food that I think is fattening or heavy. Disregarding all the moral dilemmas of meat, eggs and dairy, it's still highly fattening and scares the crap out of me from my eating disorder days. Even meat substitutes like tofu steaks scare me. I just feel like incorporating foods like that could only cause weight gain and backlog.

  But for now, I'm not going to change anything drastically, simply going to make a weight loss soup and change a few things according to recommendations I've heard online and the advice I hope to receive from the personal training session on Tuesday.