Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Embarrassing Confessions

  So I was on YouTube and in my suggested videos was a family vlog involving a child being born, which inspired me to do a list of embarrassing confessions.

   I am a bleeding heart. I cry at videos of babies being born, Goose playing Firewatch, stray dogs being looked after, everything. I am the kind of person that wants to look after people, buy homeless people food and clothes, adopt children, adopt pets, promote love and self love and help people.

  I really want my own kids. I want to have a natural birth, from conception all the way through.

  Sometimes I really worry about my ability to have kids (while I've never been told anything to say that I can't) simply because I'm on antidepressants, thyroid hormones and can't be sure how well everything works until I have the balls to actually find out.

  I want to get married. I'm not fussed about the wedding, but I'm a crazy romantic. I want a partner by my side, someone to cook for, give massages, go on adventures with, play games with, film with, everything.

  I make a very good girlfriend and this is something I really don't like about myself. Why? Because when I'm in a relationship, there's no in between, there's no casual, I'm your girlfriend, I'm loyal AF and I am very dedicated and commited. I fall in love. I care for my partner. Sometimes I have difficulty keeping my own life in the middle of it all. But goddam it feels good being in love. I just need to learn to hold some of my special moves and not give everything away so quick.

  ~Update~ Watching "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" (yes it's my first time, I LIVE UNDER A ROCK OKAY!) and apparently after only 14 mins of movie time I'm all ready emotionally invested in one of the side characters to the point of jumping and muttering "no no no" under my breath when I know domestic violence is about to happen and then gasping when it does.

  I'm sure there's plenty more super embarrassing things I could confess to and I'll probably keep updating this as I remember/notice more but for the time being I'll keep it at that list.
  Never be ashamed of your attributes. There's always going to be someone else out there that appreciates and admires these traits and loves you for them.

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