What's Going On?

So I haven't been putting out content, and the content I put out is depressing as fuck. I know you (as a collective) have noticed.
So what the fuck has happened?
As much as I would love to sit here and say "My mother has cancer" or something, unfortunately it's not like that.
Okay that sounded awful, let me explain.
There was no one event that made me spiral in to the pit of darkness I now call home inside my mind.
It wasn't like I woke up one day and decided, "Gee, you know what? I haven't had depression in a while let's just jump on that train again and while I'm at it? Let's make mealtimes and eating near impossible with panic, stress and anxiety around calories and weight gain. Purging sounds fun!"

In the past couple of months I have had some "bad news" in the form of intimate or personal relationships, health, family, work and university. I've had to put up with my university load, the leadership role I hold, the constant loneliness from isolating myself, the lack of work, financial stress as a result of the lack of work, the fact that I wouldn't turn to anyone and ask for help even if I thought I needed it, and so on.

I want to make content. I want to document my current life. I want to have videos to upload, even though I have nearly no motivation. I'm going to make videos for you guys, but I don't think they're going to be the same.
They might be funny, they might be good to watch, they might totally suck ass or they might actually depress the crap out of you, I don't know.
I just know that sitting here doing nothing and hoping it gets better or worrying about what MIGHT happen if I keep making videos isn't helping.

So, in closing, I'm sorry for not making content. I was (and am) really depressed. I didn't want to upset you. I was worried my content would suck or I'd hate whatever I film and end up not being able to edit it. I was scared I might not be able to entertain you. I was scared I would worry you or people would realise something is wrong.
Well, now you know (kinda) what's going on, and I'm going to get back into it anyway.
I have some videos I want to make and, while they are incredibly sensitive in nature, I think you might enjoy them.
Maybe.
Also, I've been vlogging.
The vlogs will probably suck.
Who knows. Only one way to find out.