A short story I wrote while live for 24hrs, just to keep me awake at 3am.
As the gravity of what I had just experienced began to wash over me, I was suddenly hyperaware of the fact that this had been merely intended as a holiday.
When Neri and I had first taken off in her Toyota Celica earlier that morning, there was a crispness to the air that only a clear autumn day could provide. It was as if the sweet sound of birds chirping travelled effortlessly, our palpable excitement growing in chorus. The image of her vibrant smile and rambunctious spirit still burnt on my retinas; how stark in contrast that joyous moment is from now.
Our fierce preoccupation with frantically sharing stories about boys just as we have for years managed to keep us distracted for much of the journey. To be fair, nothing was amiss for the first quarter. Just her and I, bubbling away with carelessness, throwing caution to the wind for our first camping trip since we graduated 9 years ago.
It wasn't until our first pit stop that I noticed it. The further inland we drove, a shift began. There's something rather unassuming about a 7-11, so I almost missed it. The store radio was playing Avril Lavigne "Sk8r Boi", which, had it not been for the other patrons, I know Neri and I would have sung along to.
Good thing we didn't.
It was the second verse, as if time itself had been stretched, the word "home" came through the speakers in a low and guttural raw. Half expecting the staff to react, I whipped my head toward the brightly adorned counter to find not even the slightest response. In fact, not a single person seemed to notice. Disregarding the experience as simply a brief malfunction, be it in the audio system or my own ears, we resumed our journey with myself as driver and my dear companion as lord of the aux.
It didn't even occur to me to ask her if she noticed it, I simply let the conversation rattle on as it did.
Her storytelling captivated me as it always did. One of the reasons we've built the friendship we have is that her spontaneous nature almost perfectly mirrored mine. If anyone were to see us in that car they'd be forgiven for mistaking us for 2 parrots, just squawking nonsensical babble at each other. Aimlessly jumping from boys to work, to random happenstance experiences we've both been waiting to tell each other, and inevitably back to boys.
We made it to our second travel intermission.
This time a quaint rest stop hidden conveniently in a national park. After using the facilities, we decided to take advantage of the opportunity to stretch our legs and enjoy lunch with a view.
I couldn't tell you what I was eating. The conversation not only unimportant, but entirely forgotten.
The wind began softly from the east, and as I watched the branches rustle I noticed it. The hair on my neck stood up as I noticed a possum staring me directly in the eye with a knowingness I can't describe. As if the eyes belonged to that of another creature, human or otherwise.
Time stretched impossibly for what was only a few seconds. Neri sat lightly to my right making complimentary noises about whatever she had been eating while I was blissfully unaware of her existence. It wasn't until the sound returned that I realised it had left. As if someone had turned the volume up without the speaker on and suddenly the crushing sound of all existence was switched on violently.
Momentarily winded, I grabbed for the table as if to stop myself from falling flat on my face. Only to look up at my blissfully unaware best friend, entirely oblivious to the whole ordeal.
It could have taken me seconds, maybe minutes, simply to regain composure. Not even a quizzical look.
Trying my best to match her poker face, failing desperately to shake that from my mind, I decide I'm done with my food and anxiously wait for her to finish her meal and take over driving for the next leg of our trip.
With most of the high level information now shared, some 4hrs in to travelling together, we find ourselves quietly enjoying the view together. As if in silent parallel play, just as we had as kids.
Further and further from civilization, the distance between towns on road signs steadily increasing. Not much to comment on, and fatigue of the day hitting us both.
As I stare aimlessly out the passenger window, eyes not settling on much of anything, the world flew by as a blur. Intentionally. What I would have given to not see what I did.
It soon dawned on me that there was a discrepancy in our speed and the amount of motion blur I saw.
Shit, I thought. It's happening again.
I take a sharp inhale and brace myself, knowing what comes next.
The world now frozen in motion. As if a fierce wind has whipped through at exactly the point of a photo being taken.
The deep, frosty chill I know too well creeps sadistically from my toes up to my ankles and my breath is stolen from me.
By the time it reaches my knees the scene is growing dim.
Further and further the bitter cold ascends my body, grabbing with desperation.
Now gray, the world fades before my mind can stop racing.
The evil cold clawing at my bones, slowly encompassing my trunk now.
A devilish state of micropsia, drowning in nothingness.
I'm swallowed whole now, images a distant memory.
Memories, an odd concept. Why repeat the past?
Eternity is a heavy burden.
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