Saturday, January 5, 2013

Un-Medicated Update

   So you already know that I haven't taken my antidepressant's for a while now, and I'm actually doing well, but I thought I might send you guys a little update on how I'm going and what my "symptoms" are.
  My first and most distracting symptom of withdrawal would be my visual hallucinations. Nothing too major, just dark figures in my peripheral vision that aren't visible when I turn my head.
  At this stage I'm past that symptom, (thank God! It does get kinda distracting). Currently anxiety levels are running high. Including racing heart rate and fear of running out of time. Most fears are unwarranted and not too intense and easy enough to step back from.
  The only other symptom which is understand is the occasional urge to burst into tears for no apparent reason. Thankfully I haven't yet and I see the urge becoming less persistent.
  Thankfully I can see the help of a years worth of therapy working in my favour; each time I see one of these things come up I can use techniques I learned with my fantastic psychologist and step out of the emotion and back in to the logic portion of brain that reminds me "this is just one way of explaining what is happening and it doesn't necessarily have to be true". Not every time *blah* happens does it mean that I am *blah*. Just because *blah* happened, doesn't mean it is a proper reflection of who I am or what I'm capable of.
  Again, I need to put utmost importance on the fact that medical supervision and serious therapy must be taken when the decision to swap medication or stop taking medication has been made. Please take care of yourselves, if not for your case, do it for me. :) 


  1. Fantastic work for kicking the anti depressants.... words can not adequitely describe the respect i have for you and I don't even know you. they are awful and the whole pharmecuitical industry is corrupt as f#ck.

    your consciousness awareness is pricesless & considering we're in a world where there's a war on for our minds - it is critical to be careful what we put into our bodies.

    well done girl.. also, may I recommend marijuana (thc) as a substitute (maybe a joint here or there when you are feeling anxious or just to wind down properly, it is extremely relaxing and theraputic, the benefits are REMARKABLE in many avenues but that's another story haha)

    I think you and mary jane would "click" from what I have seen you express of yourself, you are quite smart and again, well done for kicking the anti depressants...

    from the bottom of my heart, you don't understand how productive of a decision you've made. :) :)

    P.S nature is king!!!!

    love and light from the cosmos :)

  2. P.S

    therapists can be beneficial but if you follow your intuition (your body will give you all the signs you need, in twitches, in random thoughts, the law of attraction) you will get to where you TRULY within yourself, want to be.

    be careful how much you trust the "state" as they aren't even aware how the mind works, that's why they put things like rat poison compounds (fluoride) into anti depressants and other mood stabilizers... people who FEEL TOO MUCH are a THREAT to this "system" that you literally have to detach from, emotionally, to be apart of.

    there is far more to life, the more you seek the "truth" about the bigger picture, the more you will learn about yourself, your experiences thus far in life & their significance, AND about your position in this sea of craziness we call, the experience of life.

    trust in self............ <3

  3. & just a little something from me to you.. you're quite open minded so I trust you will look at this from different perspectives and take what you will from it.

    sorry about flooding your comments, i just had an immense urge from the universe to reach out to you although we've never spoken. cliche it may sound, (thanks hollywood), but sincere from the deepest part of me.

    people who are receptive to feeling, i have all the time in the world for. never be ashamed of who you are and although you may see the way you deal with situations as being counter productive and needing help from others or medication (in the past) but it is part of the journey of life and feeling PAIN means you are in a process of challenging yourself... its those who don't "feel" (look at white collar conservatives for example) who are the ones we should be concerned about... repression is a dangerous thing.


    1. I am so incredibly sorry for my late reply! I honestly haven't checked this site in so long and I really hope you don't feel badly toward me for taking so long!

      Thank you so much for your kind comments, it really means a lot to me to have your support so thank you so much! I'm doing really well considering A) I had no aid in quitting my meds, B) I was very suicidal before taking them and C) I had a few battles around the beginning of the year and continue to today.

      I have been trying very hard to keep myself healthy in a more holistic way and I really do believe that intake, output and meditation or breathing exercises help a lot. I've also found that with a happy outlook on life (just walking around smiling) you put your body in a better mood. Practicing mood raising poses and affirmations has been keeping me sane on a day to day basis.

      Once again thank you so much for leaving your comments, I really feel bad for not replying straight away. Obviously I should be looking at this more often, and I will from now on ;)