Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Ramble on Things

So today I had a mission. A one and only thing to do that would take a few hours but once it was done it was over.
I was to go into a trainee course that I signed up for in order to un-enroll. And of course, being the sucker that I am I agreed to a one on one chat about the un-enrollment process and ended up talked into doing the course from afar.

The point really is that for this week I'll be busy doing a course, then I have to somehow find ways to do it while in the middle of moving so as to pass the course and be eligible for the course providers to put me forward for work.

Side note, I did mention this would be a ramble on things, so please don't expect anything other than random jumblings of words. Jumblings? Psh, that's not even a real word.

On the plus side, I'll be walking more in order to get there and back and it gets me out of the house.

I guess another thing I could probably write about here is that it seems as though I'll be doing this as a daily blog. At least at this stage. If I can get myself into a simple routine of doing it at a certain time, I should be able to keep that up.

Oh how many things I could talk about right now. Like how I was watching my brothers old, and I mean OLD, like, 5 years old old, videos. He was so young! Just looking back on how he was as a kid and just thinking about all the things we used to do, and I guess kinda feeling bad because I will always feel guilty for not treasuring my time with him as much as I should. I have a very dear memory of us walking home from school one day, just the way he was talking to me and telling me every little thing that happened, and even though that memory means so much to me, I can't even remember what we were talking about, simply that I realized how much he meant to me and that I needed to pay more attention to him.
How sad is that? I remember realizing I need to savor my time with him, but didn't actually do it. I remember thinking something, then not doing it.

I'll always kinda feel bad that I couldn't be more or better or closer as a sister. I'm always here for him but sometimes we just don't seem to connect. We try to spend valuable time together but how do you even do that anymore? I guess it's just hard when somebody means so much to you and low self esteem leaves you feeling like you're not doing well enough by them.

And, I guess to be a downer, that's where I'm leaving this post. I guess the moral of the story is take every moment as it comes, savor it, tell the people you love that you love them, open your arms to someone you've never considered very close before, offer your care and affection to everyone you meet and never take anything for granted. <3

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